His First…My Trigger

“You are the first African American model I have ever photographed,” said the excited, experienced photographer, as I walked out of the bathroom in my robe and heels. I noticed that he had no models of color in his portfolio, though it was very good. Is it Seattle? Is it you? I began to get nervous, even though it was the middle of the day and there was another model scheduled right after me. Was it his excitement, or my prejudice that put me in fight or flight mode? The studio is filled with costumes and props and some…not so tasteful photos. I have been in this situation before. I am triggered, but keep my cool.

The last time I saw photos on a wall that I knew I did not want to take I was 19 years old, it was late, and there were two men. There was a drink of rum and coke mixed with what I later…too late, found out was laced with a common date rape drug. 

…but I keep my cool.

I am older now, I trust my gut now, and my gut said, he was excited to shoot a black model, because he lives in Seattle, and let’s face it…it’s Seattle. For a second I questioned if I was really good enough to have booked this gig or was I being set up. No, I was good enough and I BOOKED THIS GIG! It is crazy how even after several years of talking, dancing, acting, crying, venting, about past traumas with ruthless photographers that I can still get triggered by little things like excitement from someone who wants to work with me. On top of that, I am still shocked that I am modeling.

Well I am. And here is another fabulous shoot that I had a blast doing. Thanks Patrick!


download (7)                download (8)             268491823

…for the arts of it



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